After yesterday’s “Rocket Scientry” post, it got me to thinking about other fun things that we say because some dork in our life said it wrong and we ran with it. Since I am one again, without small children fodder, I will tell you the story of “Eh…one half does the other.”
I have talked about our friend Glen, in the past. He’s Greg’s friend that painted the model school bus in Rolls Royce white for Mikey for Christmas.
When I met Greg, this friend came with the package, but I was sure I could wield my female wiles and make Glen fade into the background. Then, surprisingly we needed our own version of Comic Book Store Guy from the Simpsons, or Ignatius from “Confederacy of Dunces.” We seemed to enjoy the abuse that came along with his mechanical knowledge, like putting cd players in 1994 Honda Civics, rigging our condo for a washer and dryer, building a sub woofer, or screening a porch. Glen can figure out just about anything, however there is much torture involved like his total lack of social skills, and his inattention to the finer details. The subwoofer was made of cheap MDF and never veneered or painted. Not to worry though, my Persian cat at the time covered its Velcro-like surface in long gray fur in short time—it was like we wrapped it in a flokati rug. Actually, Greg, just reminded me that two sides had that cheap vinyl veneer (there are six sides to a cube for those of you that failed geometry.)
One time when we were rigging the condo for inside laundry, we were at Home Depot (for the typical millionth time during a single project) because we needed a new circuit for the circuit breaker, and Glen managed to call the HD employee in the electrical department “guy”—as in “Look, GUY, the size circuit I am looking for will work just fine.” In response to the “nice man” simply explaining safety codes and regulations. It looked like HD sales person wanted to punch Glen in the face. We certainly did, but we were knee-deep in a project we needed help on.
Then there was the time that he (sort of) helped us move into this house and we didn’t have our furniture yet. He slept on the living room floor while we slept on our bedroom floor. In those days, I had nicer bed linens. We folded them up and put them on the floor when we slept so that they wouldn’t get dirty or worn (the comforter and toss pillows). We had them packed in a big bag until our bed arrived. Sometime in the middle of the night Glen got cold, and went looking for more blankets. When I woke up in the morning, I found him rolled up in my beloved comforter like a giant burrito—the comforter WE only looked at! Like the finer details that he loses interest in—hygiene and appearance are on that list—so I had the full body shivers at that sight!
Just so this picture is painted accurately, Greg has bought dozens of Whoppers, used hundreds of gallons of gas, and fallen victim to his friends poor planning on projects, plus helped him move numerous times—and that usually falls mostly on Greg because he’s stronger and in good shape.
So, back to “Eh…one half does the other.” Glen is the master exaggerator, and again, his attention to details that don’t interest him is nil. Our other friend brought this to our attention, but when Glen wants to say “same difference” or “six in one hand, half a dozen in the other” the translation to Glen-speak is “eh…one half does the other.” At first we mocked and teased, and then we decided it was sort of fun. I used to use it at work. My friend L. thought it was hilarious, and she had only heard the stories of Glen. Feel free to use it, too—it sort of rolls of the tongue…but don’t’ forget to shrug your shoulders in that carefree, who gives a crap way on the “eh.”