I had a time after Mikey was born that I thought if there was enough time and money, I would like to have three children. Then after Pierce was born, I thought I was going to have to have another to try for a girl. Then a little time passed, and I realized—Who needs girls!!! And Greg and I decided that our family was finished—I was destined to wither away as the years depleted my estrogen until I simply drown in the sea of testosterone that surrounds my life.
Or so we thought…although we decided that there would be no more kids, we did nothing other than the good old dating methods to prevent it–Condoms or abstinence—depending on the week.
I’ve been feeling a little strange lately, and my clothes were getting tighter. I thought it was another ride on weight gaining roller coaster that is my existence. Then the boobs got a little sore—must be pms. Then it hit me…oh no…Universe—didn’t I tell you I’m 40? I can’t believe we are going to do this again—I just got rid of the nursery and gave us play/tv room. For god’s sake! I have to bring back out the killer crib that the government says threatens to strangle small children. Where are we going to put this new addition? Can we keep a television in the nursery and still use it as a place to hang out? Even when the baby is sleeping? OMG! What are we going to do? Our house is becoming like a clown car—we’re trying to see how many humans we can fit in a teeny tiny space?
I’ve gotten rid of so many baby things! This is going to cost a ridiculous amount of money and sanity. I haven’t seen Greg in a while—I think he may be headed for Canada. It’ll probably be another boy… My head is swimming with frantic thoughts—I can’t believe this is happening!
Thank God I don’t have to…April Fools!