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Pierce was passed out while Bumblebee monopolized all the new toys

Pierce was passed out while Bumblebee monopolized all the new toys

Whewww!  That was fast and furious!  I wouldn’t have said that last weekend, when the four days leading up to Christmas piled up in slow-growing mountain of irritation and sheer ornery-ness.  Greg and I were both placing bets on who would end up at the U.S./Canadian border first.  It is funny how the wrath of Santa if one ends up on the naughty list loses its intensity as the big delivery day looms ever closer.  The boys were wild!  They were doing the opposite of what we were telling them, with what seemed like glee, in spite of the continuing threats of no Christmas gifts.  (Constant threats with no intent of follow through…could this be the problem, quite possibly?)By Christmas Eve, I had figured out a new threat:  Even if Santa still brings you presents, I don’t have to let you have them!  We even picked up the phone to call the Jolly Old Fella a couple of times.  That was the only thing that got Mikey’s attention, but Pierce isn’t there yet.

My family celebrates on Christmas Eve, so we went to Auntie Good Time’s house for the festivities.  The kids over eager enthusiasm and needling about opening gifts brought up my own memories of having to wait through the awful meals of turkey, (In this case: filet mignon and fried turkey!), and all the dressings that should make it even more fabulous were it not for the delayed gratification of opening presents!  The dreaded dessert that topped off the meal was waiting for the dishes and kitchen to be cleaned up.  If I had known what S and M was as a kid, I would have been positive my parents were into it by methods of torturing children.

But, alas, the moment had arrived.  As always with Mikey, it was about quantity NOT quality, but given a few days to digest the haul he collected, he became more and more excited about his things.  Pierce, however, was thrilled with a simple toy of Michael’s until he could study all of his new acquisitions.

I was smart enough this year to whisper the boys lists into Santa’s ear that had the least amount of “assembly required,”  unlike last year, where I spent hours (that ultimately bled into days) of testing my mechanical abilities and then guarding the toys with my life so that my hard work couldn’t be undone.  There is a wooden T-rex robot that I have NEVER allowed them to play with because it was such a bitch to put together.  I guess it was supposed to be a fun project—maybe if you’re some autistic savant engineer.

Okay, so that is not entirely true…  Mike and Pierce are both into Transformers—especially , Mikey.  I hate them!  (Except that I secretly love them, because they are cool and Optimus Prime has a wonderful voice.)  I get stuck “transforming” them into vehicle mode every time.  Funny, though, several of us “mechanical” individuals tried our hands at the latest version of Bumblebee, and couldn’t get the arms to fold so that the car would click together.  Finally, Greg grabbed it and started slamming and whipping it around like one of those crazy Rubic’s Cube geniuses and snapped it all right into place.  Me thinks he has been yanking my chain to get out of the “honey do” list at our house…me also thinks he just screwed himself to stroke his own ego!!!

Next year the boys will be asking for TJMAXX gift cards for birthdays and Christmas, because if I have to play with their toys, then I might as well get what I want—like shoes and handbags.