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Hey Oprah!  Can you answer any of these questions asked by my kids?  I have taken the liberty of answering a few for you.

  1. Mommy?  Can warthogs swim?
  2. Mommy?  Can I have Smarties and a sucker?
  3. Mommy?  Would you like to have a pet alligator or t-rex?
  4. Mommy?  How tall are the Halo Action Figures?  Are they about as tall as Iron Man’s leg, or Megatron?
  5. Mommy?  ROOOAAAAAARRRRRR!  Did that sound like Tranny (t-rex) or Spiney (spinosaurus)?
  6. Mommy?  Is it going to rain today?  Will it thunder?  Will they be cracks or rumbles?
  7. Mommy?  WHEN IS THIS CAR GOING TO MOVE!!!  (Roared by Pierce from the backseat in the car line at school)
  8. Mommy?  When is it going to be my birthday?
  9. Mommy?  Would you like if a Brachiosaurus ate some of the leaves off “Leafy” our oak tree?  What if he ate all of them?
  10. Mommy?  Would you be scared if you saw Optimus Prime in real life?  How ‘bout Megatron?
  11. Mommy?  Are you watching that show where Tony says all the bad words?  (The Sopranos)
  12. Mommy?  Who makes Scooby Doo’s voice?  How about Daphne?  Fred?
  13. Daddy?  Who’s that playing golf on the T.V?  Phil Mickelson, Mikey…  Dill Pickleson?
  14. Daddy?  How come Tiger isn’t wearing a red shirt?  It’s not Sunday.
  15. Daddy?  Would you like to come and play videos games with me and Pierce?
  16. Mommy?  Will black snakes hurt you? (me)They’re not poisonous, but they still can bite.
  17. Mommy?  Would you like a pet snake?  Yeah, Mike…they’re very snuggly…especially the constrictors.
  18. Mommy?  Do you like frogs?  Would you like a pet one?  How ‘bout a lizard?
  19. Mommy?  Can I play Grand Theft Auto?  I promise I won’t say the bad words.  (me)Yeah…NO!
  20. Mommy?  Why can’t I play GTA?  (me)Umm, because everything about the game is in poor taste.
  21. Mommy?  Cay you lay wif me?  (Pierce asks me this every night of his life.)
  22. Mommy?  Do we have to wash my hair?
  23. Mommy?  Can I play on your new tablet?  (me) NO WAY!
  24. Mommy?  Can you send Pierce to live with Auntie Dodie?  He’s bothering me.
  25. Daddy?  Can I play now?  Daddy?  Daddy?  Can I play now?  (When Daddy is immersed in a game and has an auto-tune-out mechanism in his brain.  I don’t have this wonderful mechanism in mine, so I usually lose my cool after ten “Daddy’s” and scream for Greg to answer his son!)
  26. Mommy?  Can you feed me?  (I finally taught Michael to get his own cereal.  It’s not without a price though…usually some spillage.)
  27. Mommy?  What can we change Pierce’s name too?  Poo Poo Diaper Baby?  Sure!  Potty Talk Donovan!
  28. Mommy?   Can you get a movie of me jumping off this?  Can I see the movie?  Can you take another movie?
  29. And Finally!  Mommy?  How much do you love me?  Mikey, I love you and your brother more than you could every possibly know!

 

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