Hey Oprah! The other day I was out in our backyard with the boys, looking over my plants, when I came upon a snail climbing up my green onions. I know technically this should be gross, and I should probably dispose of this sneaky guy that surely has onion breath. I can’t though…he is just too cute, and seems to be a good little nature lesson for the boys on our very own 100th of an acre. I have found the snail shells before, but apparently they were in foreclosure, since the owners were already gone.
After taking the snail back to patio for Mikey and Pierce to meet, we proceeded to watch him slither all over the Adirondack chair while I took a million pictures of him. After a while we named him “Steve. Steve the Snail.” He really is quite charming in that he has a pretty brown and camel striped shell with a matching slimy body. Fancy little black dots at the tops of his antennae that function as eyes (I think). Pretty social, he climbed around letting us study him—only retreating to his house when we picked him up.
As I am snapping photos at every angle, Mikey gets a little bored and goes inside to get a couple of dinosaurs. When he returns, we got a fun idea to take photos of the dinosaurs trying to eat Steve. They look really real, so I’m thinking this amateur genius would impress Spielberg. In fact it was so authentic, that at one point when T-Rex left Steve alone, Steve evacuated his bowels in a long curling worm. I felt sort of bad thinking we might have scared the crap out of him, but that only lasted a minute until we thought up our next photo shoot. Which was putting Steve in Tranny and Spiney’s jaws and making them appear to fight for their dinner.
After sufficient torture of one of God’s tiny creatures, we turned our little snail loose. I kept checking my green onions every day or so to see if he had found his way back, but no sign of our little friend. Until New Year’s Day! We were out back throwing “pop its” on the ground and watching them explode, when I saw something on the door. It was STEVE!!!!! He stuck around! But before I could get my camera, Mikey (naturally) knocked him off the door. So I propped him on the handle and pretended that was where he was all along. We like our new resident!