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Dear Oprah,

Remember when you had Joan Jett and several other famous ladies turning 50 on your show?  I couldn’t believe how great Ms. Jett looked.  For someone who’s M.O. was to look tough and hard, how is it possible that she has hardly aged in 30 years?  Crazy!  She must not have doing the whole sex, drugs and rock-n-roll lifestyle she was promoting!

As I effort to not get old and uncool, I have forced my music upon the boys.  So far so good, except that they pick two or three songs that get more play in my car than a number one hit gets in an hour on a top 40 radio station.

The latest is Joan Jett and the Blackhearts “I Love Rock and Roll.”  A pretty timeless anthem with its rockin’ beat and catchy hook.  The kids love it, and we get a charge out of hearing them singing along, especially when she growls like a cat between choruses.  It’s a real lesson in timing, but the boys have it down.  Where they disagree is the lyrics.

“I love rock and roll, put another dime in the jukebox baby

I love rock and roll, come and take some time and dance with me.”

Greg, Mikey and I have agreed that these are the lyrics and sing them loudly, honestly, and with conviction.  Pierce, however, says that they are:

“I love wock and woll, put another dime in the jukebox baby

I love wock and woll, speak on the time and dance with me.”

This makes Mikey insane with frustration—being totally about accuracy when it comes to insignificant things.  I wish he would be this way about capital letters and punctuation and school work.  Naturally, Pierce gets devilish glee out of singing the wrong lyrics and watching his brother squirm with angry authority.

This morning on the way to school, I played the song for Mikey and Alyna.  Clever little girl, who Alyna is, she made up her own lyrics, that even the king of lyrics couldn’t help laughing at.  It went something like this:

“I love rock and roll, put more sugar in the juicebox baby!”

I may never sing it the correct way again!

What song have you always loved, sung along to, and then found out that you had the lyrics messed up?  My song was ZZ Top’s “Sharp-dressed Man.”  I always thought it was “Every woman loves a shot-glass man.”  Yeah, I know—why would I think that even made sense?  I could just picture bar chicks watching men throwing back shots and getting all hot and bothered over the cool factor of soon to be sloppy drunk guys.

Greg always thought that The Who was singing about New Orleans instead of “Who are you?”  WhoooooAreYou?  WhoWho-WhoWho?  Or NewwwwOrleans  Whoohoo-hoohoo?  It’s anybody’s guess…I mean, could The Who be so narcissistic as to ask themselves who they were?  Or would it be more likely that they would be singing about the awesome city of New Orléans?  I believe my case has been made…

For your enjoyment there is a whole website devoted to the poor deciphering of lyrics on the part of the fan.   www.kissthisguy.com

Have fun!

Misunderstood Tidings,

J

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