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Dear Oprah,

I see that you got some beautiful flowers for Ellen on your birthday!  No chance she sent you the link to my blog as well?  Surely she did, and you are presently reading all 500 posts and getting agitated that another one is coming through right now, breaking your concentration on laughing.

My mom had the cool idea that I should start compiling my funniest posts into a book and submit it to a publisher.  Slush file, here I come!  I liked her marketing idea that it should be sold as a book of short stories for people’s guestrooms.  A fun little book that guests can pick up and read two or three pages and laugh themselves to sleep.  It would be fun on the nightstand in bed and breakfasts, or anywhere where people are staying and want to peruse some great literary prose before tucking in.

So, wondering where to begin made me tired.  I promptly did nothing about it, and I took a nap.  Then I had the wicked inspiration to look at the “shares” on my blog stats.  It’s the tracking tool that shows how many time my blog has been shared on various platforms.  It also shows which posts, so I can use that to decide the most successful stories and start putting the manuscript together from there. Thanks, peeps–I was shocked and gladdened by your generosity!

This is what I need from you, Ellen and everyone that has ever read my blog:  I need a challenge.  I would like you to read every post and then share it on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Reddit, Pinterest, Email, Stumbleupon, and any other platform you can think of.  This way my shares are so extensive, that some publisher gets wind of my amazing following and blogger success, that they come to me to create a book.  And they also, go through all my posts, edit, spell check, and choose the best ones for it.  I’m sorry…did I say I need a challenge?  I meant you—you readers—need a challenge.  Thanks for rising to the occasion…I’m off to take a nap…

I'm probably in here.  If not, don't bother...

I’m probably in here. If not, don’t bother…